An Open Letter to the Makers of Tag Clouds

Dear Programmers:

I’ve hesitated to write a note even hinting at a note of complaint before, because I do appreciate your efforts to represent a blog’s content in a non-linear, organic manner. Then it occurred to me I might be selling you short. After all, a good part of Apple’s charm is its ability to marry function to esthetics, and programmers have been pivotal in carrying out that vision. One might even say they’ve been core contributors. *knee slap*

Perhaps you’re up for a challenge?

Specifically, the cloud-visual doesn’t quite work for me. It suggests tornadoes and dust and events careening wildly out of control. Since I’ve taken great care to project a refined sensibility at all times on this blog – indeed, in all facets of my writerly platform – I’m sure you can see my dilemma.

So…I don’t want to presume, but between paying clients, perhaps you could dash off some code and offer it to WordPress. Say by next Monday? I’m sure their Happiness Engineers would be delighted with your initiative and change their blog templates to accommodate your work as required.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Romance writer – tags arranged to form chiselled abs
  • Fantasy writer – a tag sword
  • Travel writer – tags arranged in the shape of the Taj Mahal, Eiffel Tower, or Mount Rushmore.
  • Young Adult writer – tag words arranged to spell out “I hate you”
  • Goth Young Adult writer – a black t-shirt with tag words arranged to spell out “I hate you” (comes with complimentary guyliner)
  • Mystery writer – a body outline wherein the blood stains are composed of tags.

Signed,

A writer who’d be eternally grateful if she could have a free custom tag cloud in the shape of Hugh Jackman

Have any other suggestions, peeps? Put them in the space below.

You can make your own word puzzle like the one above through Word Search Generator

9 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Makers of Tag Clouds

  1. *giggles* I might pretend I write romance instead of mystery to get that chisled ab cloud… I’ve missed you, sister Tart–sorry i’ve been neglectful! have a great weekend!

  2. I’d take one in the shape of a big brown dog, although sadly, the tornado cloud is also appropriate for the state of things these days…glad you are on the mend!

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