The Attention Whore Asks, Did I Take a Wrong Turn at Ascorbic Acid?

Ever have one of those days where the metaphoric wax gets yanked off, and even as you admire the sight of pink, unfurred skin, you’re saying an indignant, “Ow. Ow. OW!”? Me neither, although if I did allow a beautician within three miles of my person, yesterday’s experience would have been comparable. 

Two things happened, one which you probably already know because I broadcast it from here to Havana:

1.  MSNBC has a blog site called IN-GAME about well, gaming, and yesterday they posted an impassioned essay about why all mothers shouldn’t be be tagged “anti-gamer“. Remember in September when I wrote about my experiences upon taking Frank to purchase Halo Reach? I’m honored to say they linked to it!!! I’m the first link below the second embedded video. 🙂

That was the great part of the experience. The part that sucked, honestly, was me. I thought I’d worked through the attention-whore part of my personality earlier this year. I thought I was over watching my blog hits and mourning when they never reached the heights of my two Freshly Pressed experiences. I thought I’d found my Zen center, my very Jan-ness again.

If I had, then why was I on my knees yesterday as I watched the hits rack up, huh? Why was I hooting and saying embarrassing things like, “Yeah, baby, yeah. Come home to mama”?

More troubling, If I am capable of this level of self-deception, then it’s possible I have my blinders on elsewhere. For instance, maybe there isn’t a Pernicious Pant Fairy who sneaks in at night and alters my waistline in a clever fey version of Gaslighting. Perhaps I am simply…burgeoning?

Maybe blonds really do have more fun.

2. With a fresh set of people poking through my website, I looked at it through their eyes. What would gamers see when they arrived? What gestalt did I offer a visitor.

Know what, peeps? This place is a mess. I’ve got Mr. Darcy in one (deeply delicious and wet) corner. I’ve got medium-brow interviews with writers in another. (They’d be high-brow, but my knuckle-dragging brings down the quality.) I’ve got posts about family, poems to my ‘flu, Daniel Craig popping in about every tenth post–

What was I saying again?

Timothy's sidekick,

Anyway, look at my own pictures: I present myself as a graffiti’s sidekick in one post, a Madonna-ish figure in my avatar, a devoted mom in another. This place is a collection of words and man-candy images cobbled together with silly string and paperclips, clustered loosely around the general theme of citrus, and that’s my author brand?

Now, you may say, “Jan, what has this to do with me? Why should I care about yet another moment of self-doubt and course correction in your meager, pathetic, artistic life?”

Well, I’ve got good news for you, that’s why. I’ve found my way through this morass. Let me pick out the highlights of this post and perhaps you’ll spot the solution, too.

HINT: There is a unifying theme to the following:

  • Jan is an attention-whoring sock puppet for her StatCounter
  • Blonds have more fun
  • Man-Candy

Peeps, it is with great excitement and wonder I introduce you to the new symbol of my blog — the one that will allow me to feel Zen-like again, if I must — but that will propel me to the blogging stratosphere and kick that Zen-like calm into the broom closet where – let’s face it – it rightly belongs. Ready? The new symbol and face of Tartitude from here on?

No more oranges, Tartitude Readers. I give you:

LEMONS!

So, before I leave you, two questions:

1. Have you figured out what your website stands for, because as far as I can tell, mine stands for Wheeeee!

2. Ascorbic Acid: Sweet friend or seedy foe?

Discuss. 😉

20 thoughts on “The Attention Whore Asks, Did I Take a Wrong Turn at Ascorbic Acid?

  1. OMG *laughing* — oh Miz Tart – please don’t change a thing — And I tell you – at least you have some direction, some kind of Personality – and funny and wonderful and interesting posts – mine? *YAAWWNNNNN* — I could use an excuse that I’m working on a deadline for VK III (and before that deadlines for etc ) – but . . . sigh – alas, it’s not so – I just don’t know what the hell my blog is for other than my rantings or some thrown together doodle-dah — and my “professional website” – oh the horrorrrrrroororrororrr!

    I quit looking at my stats because they’re pitiful — *woe is me* …

    And your interviews are fab-eww-less!

    now, see – even my comments are formless and rambling and b o r i n g — now, I got to get back to work – quit distracting me …

    (so cool they linked you – I went to the link and there you were in all your Tarty glory!)

  2. Jan, I am obsessed with my blog stats too, although they have yet to reach the heights yours have. 🙂 And yes, blondes do have more fun, or at least that’s what I use to justify all my trips to the hairdresser!

    I’ve been pondering my “author brand” as well, and it’s hard to do. Actually, it’s a great motivator, because when I get stuck trying to pin it down I say, “I’m going to go write now!” LOL

  3. First, bring on the ascorbic acid. I loves me some sour.

    Second, your blog *is* the perfect brand. It stands for you. There is no other sense to be made of it, which is why it works. It’s like Paris Hilton. Why is she famous? No one knows. There’s no reason for it. She’s an entity unto herself. So is your blog. It’s just classier.

    I’m pretty sure my blog stands for random and depressing musings about writing. If that. Most likely it doesn’t stand for anything. It sits curled up in the corner with a book.

  4. I have absolutely nothing useful or productive to say at the end of this Jan, mostly, because I’m still laughing. Thanks for this – whatever you’d call it, it really lifted my mood. (and er… isn’t *that* sort of your brand?)

    FWIW, you can never go wrong with any citrus fruit. Except maybe those spiky orange ones that taste vaguely like cucumber. Blech.

  5. I love it, dahling, you know I love it–I’m with Kat, don’t you change a THING! And I know how the attention-whore thing works, but sip it like a drug, and ENJOY! You deserve it. I got a lot of attention for a post I wrote, and when I went back and re-read the post, I realized, I deserved it. YOU should do the same–sit back, enjoy your moment of fame (’cause they’re a fickle lot, these blog-readers, me included in that assessment), and have something other than a freaking lemon, because my tongue curled at the sight of that thing! ;-D

    You will have many more moments of fame to savor, but it is the first ones that are the most precious.

  6. You know how writing gurus say, “Write like you talk”? I think the corollary is “Blog like you live.” Your blog is full of life! (Ha. Bet you thought I was going to say “full of it.”)

    You’re not alone in your love of hits. DH cracks me up with the way he watches his stats, and trades emails with another blogging author every time he adds a view from a new country.

    Oh, and lemon? Is in our house all the time now, as a deterrent to another Kidney Stone Episode (DH again). A friend, indeed.

  7. Kat, as they say in a writing forum I frequent, *thwap* for the self-derision, although you may continue with the kind words. Comment-whore writing this, remember? 😉

    Donna, LOL on the procrastination-by-writing. That’s a great career move! I’ve always admired your blog, though. It seems to me you have focus and when I come, I’m reasonably sure what I’ll get. Whereas here…

    Tracey, I very much like the “you are an entity unto yourself” part of that comment. Again, like Donna, I find your blog has focus. You also spend your precious time writing your WIP which, to be honest, I’d probably do better if I emmulated.

    Becky, is that the star fruits you’re referring to? I bet you’re right, that they’re citrus! Ooh, another avatar when I get tired of the lemons. 😉

    T, oddly, despite my StatCounter whoredom, it’s not the ratings that mean the most to me. They’re nice, so if the kind WordPress people wanted to feature me again, I wouldn’t say no – hint, hint! – but the oddest things make my day/week/month. 🙂 And yes, you deserved attention for that post. It was awesome. 🙂

    MJ, ha! I had a hunch Dave would feel that way. Who said writing wasn’t a competetive/contact sport?

    Becke and all, thank you! I’ve been made a little verklempt by your responses. I thought I was doing a fluff piece, but you guys are too smart for my own good. 😉 More thoughts on that later.

  8. As long as you have Mr. Darcy, do you really need anything else? I agree with MJ, blog like you talk. The whole push to have a brand makes me want to gnash my teeth. Besides, the more random your blog, the more hits you get from all types of people. I doubt the people who find my blog by googling ‘quicksand for fun’ are the same type of people who find it by searching for ‘who were the smartest presidents’. Keep up what you’re doing! And I had to go back to read the Darcy post again.

  9. Hee hee — Just keep posting pictures of eye candy, and I think we’ll all be happy.

    Seriously, I like that you talk about different things on your blog. Posts on writing are what brought me here, but it’s the other stuff that helps us get to know you better. And, I agree with Teresa…no lemons — we are an orange-loving crowd. You’ve brainwashed us to be so.

    Oh, and right now my blog stands for eclectic mess. And, I’m proud. (Congrats on your embedded article!)

  10. 1. My website slogan, ‘putting fun into scifi’ came about from the editorial evaluation team questioning how much humor my novels contain. “Do you want to be taken seriously?” they asked. Well, the science perhaps, since I try to write slightly beyond what’s possible so far. Me, not so much. I can’t help but see the humor in most situations–so that’s how my main characters tend to behave.

    2. Lemons need not be too tart. Lemonade requires sugar and nothing cuts the strong taste of fish like a few drops of fresh lemon juice, which I understand is a western Canadian thing. I tried asking for a wedge of lemon in Toronto and they looked at me without comprehension.

  11. Dee, you make a good point. Mr. Darcy stands as a rebuttal for any and all arguments to cohesiveness and mission. 😉 PS: I love the breadth of your blog topics.

    Amanda, thank you! You are a citrus-approved commenter. 🙂

    Medeia, hee. Don’t worry, I was teasing. 🙂

    Phyllis, when I ate fish, I LOVED lemon butter on it. Yum. I imagine it would be potentially reassuring to have an editorial team involved. If/when I have one, they won’t know what to do with me. 😀

  12. Jan, I agree with Becke. I have to come here more often to see what silliness you’ve managed to concoct today. And that was a compliment, in case there was any doubt (two glasses of wine notwithstanding). You manage to deftly construct serious issues cloaked in blanc mange and flummery.

    Currently my (book) website stands for: Please don’t hate my book and please feel it has some redeeming qualities, or if you don’t like it please don’t tell me.

    Personally, I think your site says you are so comfortable in your own skin, despite protestations to the contrary, that you can put it all out there, warts and all for us to examine and take from it what is most beneficial. It’s refreshing, enlightening, thought provoking and really entertaining.

    And finally, I hope this post makes sense in the morning. 🙂

  13. *snicker* Well I just have to say the idea of a blog having a PURPOSE is entirely foreign to me *shifty* I think you always have honest sass and if that isn’t a unified enough theme, I don’t know what is. Nice on the HITS! (I get all worked up about that, too, even if I know I shouldn’t)

    And I agree with the above comments… it’s your voice. You don’t need more.

  14. Gosh, thank goodness you were joking about the lemons! I was getting worried. If people starting changing the fruit on their blogs, eventually we’ll run out of the good ones – and we’ll be left with taglines like “kumquats for competence….” Then what will we do? 🙂

  15. Sorry, guys, I had to get offline for a bit before I turned into Snarkaholic. 🙂

    Hart, heh, now that you mention it, I think our blogs are similar in the diversity of topics we cover. Thank you for the props on voice! Very nice to hear.

    Glinda, I think there are more options than revealled at first glance. Tomatoes are a fruit, for instance, so the tagline “get sauced” seems both reasonable and suitably sassy. Also, it would allow me to use more red in my design. 😉

Leave a Reply