It took me twelve years of public education, eight years of university, thirteen years in practice, and seventeen years as a mom, but yesterday I finally learned a crucial fact:
Animal cells come only in cherry chip flavor.
Did you people know this? How could you have failed to tell me? Is there anything else you’re holding back? Like maybe the reason my cat has to hork up her hairball on my keyboard? Or why I remember how to spell Coccidioidomycoses, but can’t recall the American spelling for “grueling”?
In case you have forgotten your middle school biology, my son offers the following legend:
A. Nucleus
B. Cytoplasm — in vanilla flavor, natch
C. Cell membrane
D. Vacuole
Oh, and one more announcement: I’ve told M I can’t keep referring to him as “my son”; it’s cumbersome. Since he is fine with me talking about his actions on my blog, but not with me using his real name or image, he has now selected a blog pseudonym. Are you ready…?
I don’t think you are.
Last chance…
Frank.
Yup, my son will henceforth be known as Frank. No, it’s Monday morning. I have not been dipping in the sauce. (Or would that be the endoplasmic reticulum? I keep getting confused.) Frank’s his name of choice, peeps, much preferred to his own Christian name for a couple of years now.
How about you? Do you have a child who rejects the perfectly good moniker with which you endowed him/her? Do they involve you in fattening science projects? Or have you edged past that stage, and find yourself missing the beaters higher learning?
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What a great project! Somehow I’ve avoided the projects since the infamous diadem created for the Order of the Phoenix book report, complete with extendable ears.
And i would have told you about the cherry chip thing, had I known, but I think most of the body parts we’ve encountered have been chocolate.
[kids okay with their names, to date, though we rarely use them. Online they are Thing 1 and Thing 2]
Extendable ears? Ha. I’d love to see a picture of that.
“Frank” is partial to chocolate as well. He simply thought the cell organelles would display better against a white background. 😉
I wish I would have thought of edible biology projects. I might have got a better mark!
Donna, Frank (I’m never gonna be able to say that without laughing) is thirteen. An edible project wasn’t a big leap. He’s always thinking about his stomach. 😉
That is an awesome project! I’m going to have to remember that for next year. Although, I might end up eating the project before it gets out the door and to the school if there’s chocolate involved.
This year I somehow was volunteered to be the Guinea pig for my daughter’s science project, but I felt more like a hamster in one of those little spinning wheels. Her whole project had to do with whether or not energy drinks really helped someone’s endurance while running. She had me drink nasty energy drinks that I “don’t” like and then timed my runs jotting down my speed and endurance.
Lucky for her I like to run. Lucky for her I love her and would do anything for her and she knows this. She also knows that mommy drinks nothing but water, Diet Coke and….of course, wine!
I’m definitely remembering the whole edible science project idea for next year. 😀
Oh, and for some reason my son would love it if I called him “Jet” for some strange reason.
Jody, is it wrong of me to laugh when I picture you on a treadmill, your daughter standing by with a clipboard and a stern expression? And Jet??? Priceless. 🙂
This is a classic post. As to the name changes, at one point my daughter informed us she wanted to be called Crystal Rose. God knows where that came from.
My son decided to change his name from Jonathan to simply “Jon” when his 4th grade teacher started teaching penmanship, making the kids practice writing their names over and over. Why couldn’t he have done that earlier, when we had to pay 50 cents a letter to spell out “Jonathan” on his soccer shirt??
No, it is not wrong at all because that is exactly how it happened. I told her if I could just fake drinking all that nasty liquid and she wouldn’t have it. Then she’d tell me when to start running and would stand there and check the miles and speed on the treadmill llike a drill seargeant.
I told her she was worse than Jilian from the show The Biggest Loser! 😀
p.s. She did have a clipboard! My crazy daughter. I have no clue where she gets it from. Hehehe
Anya, LOL, she sounds like she should have been raised in the sixties. And what is it about boys and penmanship? Your Jon and my Frank sound like they were cut from the same cloth.
Jody, that’s so cute. And though we’ve never met in person, I’m certain her bossy gene comes from her father’s side of the family.
Thanks so much for the laugh! It must be a Y chromosome thing. GK built a chocolate volcano for his science project last year.
Susan, a volcano would be great. A chocolate volcano, genius. 🙂