Name That Pig

Remember when I said no more interviews on Tartitude for a while? About two weeks later I realized a good friend and fab writer, Teresa Frohock, has her debut coming out soon. So guess who I’ll be hosting for a brief interview in July? I’m thrilled, of course. I’d be hard-pressed to find a more joyful reason for breaking a Tartitude-interview fast.

I’ll be setting up a “Coming Soon” widget in my sidebar, but here are a few other noteworthy events:

  • May 23 — contest to win a set of Mary Stewart romantic thrillers — details to be revealed on Monday
  • June 3 & 10 — interview with Nathan Bransford (on Writer Unboxed)
  • June 11 & 12th — special posts on WU (stay tuned for details)
  • July 19 — interview here with Teresa R. Frohock, debut author of  the dark fantasy MISERERE: AN AUTUMN TALE
  • Sept. 2 & 9 — Erin Morgenstern about her cross-genre novel destined for bestsellerdom, THE NIGHT CIRCUS (interview on WU)

In other news, I have become a fan of timers as a way to reduce writing anxiety. (I’m one of those people who has a hard time beginning.) I have a timer uploaded to my computer, I have a link in my toolbar to a digital timer with dulcet chimes and soft peep-peep-peeps when the clock ticks down. I have a digital timer which is insanely accurate. Yesterday, for no accountable reason, I wanted a mechanical one.

Look what I picked up?

He’s not exactly what I had in mind. My prairie-girl genes wanted one that would be durable, preferably of porcelain. It would be hand-fired by a local craftsman and sold by a Ukrainian baba in a farmers’ market. I wanted one sizeable enough it would break over an intruder’s head with a satisfying “whump”, and render them unconscious and arrestable.

Instead, this dude is made from plastic by workers in China who probably die from some weird tongue disease after painting his numbers on, then licking their paintbrush. If he were to get a burglar’s attention, it would be only to laugh at his intimidating 1-second “brringggg.” But he make me smile. He’s like a timid version of the wind-up alarm clock I had as a child.

What should I name him? Any suggestions? I had a two ideas, but one sounded rather familiar… A crafty online search lead me to Urban Dictionary – O.O – which lead me to unpleasant descriptive language for each part of his name – O.O – which had the effect of de-zesting all naming attempts from then on out.

Mayhap you can do better?

18 thoughts on “Name That Pig

  1. This is from the department of ‘lamer than all get-out’, but short ding + pig = “Doink” to me
    Yeah, there’s a reason I don’t do comedy…

  2. First, just so you know, you’ll be breaking your interview fast with Teresa on my birthday (or had you planned that?). For someone who’s supposedly laying back a bit, you’re a busy girl. Second, no ‘good’ names have come to mind yet…but something did pop in my head. In the 70’s, Harvard Lampoon did a parody of Lord of the Rings, and Sam Gamgee’s name was corrupted to Spam Gangrene. Yep, that’s what popped in my head…yeah, I don’t know why my brain does these things either. Sorry.

    1. Ha! No need to apologize. You see what’s on this blog? And you have no idea of the type of stuff I’ve self-censored… 8)

      Re the schedule: before I claim any kind of prescience, are you thinking this interview will distract from your birthday party, or add to the festive atmosphere? Hint: the second answer would be the right one. 😉

      1. Definitely the second…Hey, she writes fantasy, what more could I have asked for? I vote for your unwitting prescience. 😉

  3. When my uncle failed to bag a deer about a decade ago (he bought half a pig instead,) I drew him a Porky Pig-like face with tiny antlers, mounted on a trophy board. I titled it ‘Pigdeer,’ with the date. He expressed mild disapproval in his next letter but placed the drawing near the top of his collage wall. He wrote ‘I did not shoot the stupid pig.’ How about ‘Shooter?’ or ‘Snooter?’ Or you could paste little antlers on him…

  4. Just came back to see if you’ve named the pig–and to share the love for timers. I downloaded a simple timer extension for Firefox. I can set a countdown, and at the end, a message pops up. So, I set it for 30 minutes, get lost in my writing, and suddenly see a pop-up: YOU CAN DO IT! or maybe ROCK ‘N’ ROLL or perhaps GO TO BED.

    The timer pushed me over a roadblock I hit after burning out on that major work project. (Will rejoin the Tarts shortly.) I lurve it!

    For a pig name: How about Squee?

  5. Ack! I suck! I even have these comments in my inbox to remind myself to get back here. Sorry, guys.

    Medeia, why do I keep forgetting about the iPhone option? That would be handy when I’m in a coffee shop. Thank you. 🙂

    MJ, I’m so glad you’re done that project. Let me know if you have any Tart problems.

    And I haven’t named him yet. A few ideas are fomenting based upon comments here and on FB. If I get my act together, will explain more next week. “Squee” is verrah cute, though! Thank you for the suggestion. 🙂

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