New Moon, New Moan

So I took the elder offspring to see New Moon last night. Contrary to what I’d been told — that this movie was even worse than the first and I could expect a good diaphragmatic workout from the giggles — I didn’t hate it. However, I can’t say I exactly enjoyed it either. Yes, it has a classic romantic triangle and significant stakes; but Bella’s just way too moody and clingy for my taste, Edward has become the front man for Emo Men Everywhere, and who honestly would pick a pale, scrawny drama king over a buff, devoted, hot manly man?

Other than that, my biggest beef (heh) concerned the ending. Now keep in mind I haven’t read the book, but when Edward proposes, I’m like, “Dude, how’s that a cliffhanger?” I mean, the girl’s emotionally blackmailed him into turning her. Unless she changes her mind at some point, he’s just got himself hooked up to an immortal stalker who’s prepared to use the threat of self-destructive behavior any time he doesn’t quite tow the line. And it’s not like she’s going to say “no”. So I guess I didn’t get how this moment was meant to make me stick around for the next movie. Can you good people explain it to me?

In the meantime, for those of you who are diehard Edward Cullen fans, here’s the perfect Christmas gift:

Robert Pattinson cross-stitch pattern

It’s a cross stitch pattern for a pillow. (Or I suppose if you have a dry sense of humor, a neck scarf.) Detailed instructions can be found at this link.

If you’re a Team Jacob kinda girl, why not get a computer decal like the one below?

 

  

 

 

 

 

Finally, a poll. I realize the choices offered might be abhorrent to you, but imagine I have tied you to a chair and will subject you to Mariah Carey Christmas music until you make a commitment.

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9 thoughts on “New Moon, New Moan

  1. LOL. Nice review, Hope 🙂

    I’m one of the 33% of your pollsters who are still on Team Edward. Jacob’s got a great bod and all (though I feel kind of creepy looking at him) but my love of Edward is based on the character created in the books. I can look past Rob P’s wooden portrayal.

    I agree about Bella. Not the kind of role model I’d want my teen to aspire to.

    wrt cliffhanger… I’m stumped, too.

  2. That’s a great review. I started out reading these books to check out the appropriateness of its content for my soon to be 13 year old daughter. I have to admit that I really found myself enjoying them. I tend to over analyze things, and if you pay attention to the story line, you can see that the second book, movie, New Moon is similar to Romeo and Juliet. They all have a theme. I can’t remember now, but I think the first one was Wuthering Heights; it’s been awhile since I read the books.

    I will definitely agree that I do not like Bella’s character. She’s too needy, too clingy and too dependent on both Edward and Jacob. Yet, I still liked the story. I just think that she’s not the type of girl I want my daughter to choose as a role model. I was happy to find out that my daughter agreed with me, and said that Bella needs to get over it already! LOL

    There’s a bunch I could say about the story. My favorite Cullen is Alice and favorite Voltairi, Jane. I read the books, however, and you are introduced to their characters in much more detail than in the movie.

    The cliffhanger about Edward asking her to marry him is not explained in the movie. In the book, Bella is terrified of marriage. Edward wants to marry her but she refuses. He jokes about how she is okay with being surrounded by “monsters” but marriage is what she fears. So in the end of the movie when he asks her to marry him, he knows that this could be the reason she would agree to change her mind of becoming a part of his eternal life. LOL

    Jody Hart 😀

  3. Dawn, yeah, the “wooden” portrayal kind of makes the threat/necessity of staking a bit of a conundrum. 😉

    Bane, LOL. I couldn’t quite see you picking any of the pre-defined options. You didn’t disappoint.

    Jody, okaaay. That makes sense, now that I understand Bella has a marriage aversion. Yikes, talk about leaving out an important issue in the movie, though. I’m thinking of the standard advice, which is to end a scene with either disaster or discovery. Since I haven’t read the books, I didn’t get that he’d just thrown down a gauntlet. Thanks for the info!

  4. Jody…thank you for putting into words what I could not regarding the cliffhanger. Yes, they did leave Bella’s fear of marriage out, and it’s so well done in the books.

  5. Never read the books or saw the movies, though my 12 year old is a die hard. I think she’s re-reading the series for the umpeenth time! Kiddies seem to like it, mist authors I know were disappointed with the books.
    My daughter is a team Jacob girl and has been from the get go. And I agree with you, Hope, why pick the sickly one when you can have the hot one!

  6. Oi! More common ground-only my 14 year old daughter convinced me to read the first book instead of attending the movies–big mistake on her part. I found Bella so dull I kept wishing she’d actually succumb to one of her accidents. The stalker vampire thing was a problem for me not because of the vampire, but because…, you know… STALKER–how is this a love story? They don’t actually DO ANYTHING to overCOME anything… drove me NUTS–then the ending seemed ‘god in a box’ to me.

    I don’t hate the idea, but the execution was poor at best. My daughter hates me for that opinion, but I just really feel she wasn’t forced to edit these into coherence, and since she says Bella is based on her, I wonder if she even would know HOW to give Bella an adequate personality transplant.

  7. The descriptions of Bella made her sound like such a brat that I never bothered with the books or the films. Jody’s comments intrigued me, though, as Stephanie Meyer has a degree in literature I believe.

    I do highly recommend SM’s adult novel The Host. Hands down, the best use of the first person format I have ever read. And, believe it or not, it is a WONDERFUL love story.

  8. Argh! My coherent reply got eaten by the blog monsters.

    Michelle, I’m going to have to read these books eventually so I can form my own opinion. I’m curious to see how or if they differ from the movie. And no matter what else we may think as mothers of daughters, the fact that our kids are reading and providing grist for discussion about male/female relationships can only be a good thing.

    Hart, you know what I find interesting? (Based on the movie alone.) Bella’s passivity would seem to fly in the face of all the stuff I’ve read about craft these days, and the need for proactive characters with positive external goals. Yet the series has done so well. I will read these one day if only to learn what Meyer has done to capture a good slice of society’s mindset.

    Glinda, in all the fuss about TWILIGHT, I’ve heard next to nothing about THE HOST. Thanks for that input. Naturally it’s on my daughter’s bookshelf, so when I’m ready, I’ll remember your words.

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