Feeling a little tired, are we? Change to Daylight Savings kicking your butt? Tired of rhetorical questions? Well hang on to your hats, peeps, because this is an odd-duck of a post. It’s inspired by my now month-long bout of insomnia, dedicated to a certain person in need of a laugh right now, and hopefully self-explanatory. 😉
Feb. 13, 2010
Dear Mr. Sandman: Of course I understand about your inability to keep our date last night. You poor thing! Please don’t worry about me. I’ll just cope by jacking-up on green tea and putting in eye drops, LOL.
As long as you don’t mind me looking a little worse for wear tomorrow night, we’re good. Hope your stomach upset abates and please give my best to Ms. Moon. Looking forward to seeing you!
Mar. 2, 2010
Sandman: Your apology is accepted. Forgive me if this note is terse. I’m weary but will manage. Hope you get some rest soon yourself, and yes, I can hang on until tomorrow night. Until then…
Mar. 13, 2010
Hey, Gravel Boy:
Okay, the last few weeks I get. After all, $%*+ happens to everyone, family has to be a priority, yadda yadda yadda. But if you’re sooooo busy that you can’t stop by my house for even a few minutes, how’d you manage to spend time with Bonita Adams in her SUV, huh?
That’s right. I have it on good authority you went down on her while she waited in her kid’s carpool line. Puh-lease! A public place with that skank when I gave you the option of vanilla-scented sheets, candles and hours in bed?
You know what? The more I think about it, the more I know we’re through. You can just take your fancy REM sleep and restorative biorhythms and shove them…wherever you shove them when you’re not out on a call. I don’t need ’em.
I don’t need you. In fact, as of this moment, I’m swearing off sleep altogether. To prove it, I’m going to embark on a writing marathon tonight — the subject of which will be you and your untrustworthy nature. We’ll just see who has the last laugh then, won’t we?
PS: When they said you were a chip off the old block, they lied. I knew your father. He might have been a little stiff at times, as if carved from granite, but at heart he was a gentleman. You, sir, are not.
Mar. 14, 2010
“It was a dark and stormy–“
So, tell me, Gentle Reader, how do you feel about Daylight Savings Time? Do you have to deal very often with insomnia? Does your experience parallel mine, in that when you finally decide sleep isn’t going to happen, that’s (sometimes) when you find it? Are you awake enough to type?