Sandman Rubs Me the Wrong Way

Sleepy man wearing pajamas holding a cup of tea

Feeling a little tired, are we? Change to Daylight Savings kicking your butt? Tired of rhetorical questions? Well hang on to your hats, peeps, because this is an odd-duck of a post. It’s inspired by my now month-long bout of insomnia, dedicated to a certain person in need of a laugh right now, and hopefully self-explanatory. 😉

Feb. 13, 2010

Dear Mr. Sandman: Of course I understand about your inability to keep our date last night. You poor thing! Please don’t worry about me. I’ll just cope by jacking-up on green tea and putting in eye drops, LOL.

As long as you don’t mind me looking a little worse for wear tomorrow night, we’re good. Hope your stomach upset abates and please give my best to Ms. Moon. Looking forward to seeing you!



Man Yawning

Mar. 2, 2010

Sandman: Your apology is accepted. Forgive me if this note is terse. I’m weary but will manage. Hope you get some rest soon yourself, and yes, I can hang on until tomorrow night. Until then…



Mar. 13, 2010

Hey, Gravel Boy:

Okay, the last few weeks I get. After all, $%*+ happens to everyone, family has to be a priority, yadda yadda yadda. But if you’re sooooo busy that you can’t stop by my house for even a few minutes, how’d you manage to spend time with Bonita Adams in her SUV, huh?

That’s right. I have it on good authority you went down on her while she waited in her kid’s carpool line. Puh-lease! A public place with that skank when I gave you the option of vanilla-scented sheets, candles and hours in bed?

You know what? The more I think about it, the more I know we’re through. You can just take your fancy REM sleep and restorative biorhythms and shove them…wherever you shove them when you’re not out on a call. I don’t need ’em.

I don’t need you. In fact, as of this moment, I’m swearing off sleep altogether. To prove it, I’m going to embark on a writing marathon tonight — the subject of which will be you and your untrustworthy nature. We’ll just see who has the last laugh then, won’t we? 

Buh-bye, suckah!

PS: When they said you were a chip off the old block, they lied. I knew your father. He might have been a little stiff at times, as if carved from granite, but at heart he was a gentleman. You, sir, are not.

Mar. 14, 2010

“It was a dark and stormy–“



So, tell me, Gentle Reader, how do you feel about Daylight Savings Time?Smiley Do you have to deal very often with insomnia? Does your experience parallel mine, in that when you finally decide sleep isn’t going to happen, that’s (sometimes) when you find it? Are you awake enough to type?

14 thoughts on “Sandman Rubs Me the Wrong Way

  1. I love love love Daylight Savings Time, because to me it means I’ve survived a long-ass winter, and I have visible proof the days are getting longer.

    However. . .it does make me a little discombobulated until I get used to time being snatched away while I slept!

    You need to keep a really boring textbook by your bedside, something that sent you into a stupor when you were in school and didn’t HAVE the luxury of sleeping. 🙂

  2. I am not a huge fan of let’s-mess-with-our-circadian-rhythms-twice-a-year. :-pppppppppppppp

    As far as insomnia, I used to be too wired to fall asleep sometimes. After years of this, I read somewhere that caffeine can stay in your system for up to TEN HOURS. A lightbulb went off. I cut back on caffeine and very rarely have any after lunchtime. This helped immensely.

    Also, I listen to podcasts on my iPod to fall asleep — I swear by it. Also blocks out sweet husband’s snoring. 😉 I do wake up tangled in the earbuds, but it doesn’t hurt anything.

  3. We had a power surge yesterday that kept the power off in our house for MOST of the day. By the time it came back on, our clocks were so out of whack we didn’t even realize the “time change” had occurred.

  4. Donna C, your interpretation about the *meaning* of DST is certainly more optimistic than mine. 😉 My insomnia seems to be seasonal, and I think I’m just about through this bout – wahooo! – but thank you for the suggestion.

    Laura, I can usually fall asleep. It’s staying asleep for more than a few hours that is the issue. But that iPod idea definitely sounds like a keeper if I get initial insomnia.

    PS: You’re the kind poster who helped me organize my computer files, yes? How are you at taxes? (kidding)

    Dawn, other than having to go to bed too early, I don’t mind the time change the day *of*. It’s the following morning I find brutal. Glad your day went smoothly, though.

    Eviejane, yes! The Fall Back part of the cycle rocks. My kids feel that way too.

  5. I used to have chronic insomnia…Then I moved to the city, and discovered I liked the noise. (Weird, huh?) I did suffer from it last night, but it had nothing to do with DST. I’m sure we’ve all suffered the characters that won’t shut up and let you sleep. Greek deities are SO demanding.

  6. I LOVE when it’s dark by 5 O’clock. I’m a night person. I feel all wonky when by 8:30pm it’s still sunny!!! Who made that rule? It’s night time!!!!

    Only you would blog about DST!!!!! I love my The Tart!!!

    xoxo — Hilary

  7. I’ve never NOT suffered from insomnia. My mother had to take me out of the nursery at night so I wouldn’t wake up my sister and it never got better. I’m on something to sleep, now.

  8. Otherlisa, our basement clock only just became accurate again after six months of being an hour off. 😉

    Donna, you’d think those Greek deities were all…god-like or something they way they expect us to cater to them. 😉 Hope tonight goes better for you.

    Hilary, only you would make me feel special for blogging about DST!!!

    Kirsten, my kids are past the point of dark changing their behavior. Now that you mention it, though, I might have been a tad less antagonist to DST in days of yore.

    Uh, Jess, I think you have me beat in the insomnia category. Sorry you have to deal with it long-term. A month is enough to make me more…Tart-ish. Can’t imagine years.

  9. Thank you for the lovely, funny post! I am so grateful you gave that Sandman a piece of your mind – I can’t tell you how many times he’s stood me up and then later, ambushed me as I sat of the couch watching TV.

    And, yeah, I hate DST as well. By the time I am finally used to the change, it’s time to fall back again. Grrr! Argh!

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