A Jan Christmas-Fail and I Blame Mr. Darcy

I am not organized about the holidays. Not in that have-everything-purchased-before-July way that some people manage. Nevertheless, in my own charming, right-brained process, everything essential gets done. What would the holidays be without the associated nervous breakdown?

However, I think I blew it last night.

In my defense, my brain was addled from a scene in Lost in Austen, which I had rented from the library and was watching with Molly before the phone rang.

This was the pivotal image.

Elliot Cowan as Mr. Darcy

Can you blame me for being a neural blank?

If you haven’t seen Lost in Austen, that’s a scene where the main character — a modern woman brought through a portal into Jane Austen’s book — insists Elliot Cowan immerse himself to see how he compares to her fantasy man. 

(Don’t you wonder what she would have done if he turned out to have moobs? Maybe an accessory nipple or three? I know I do. There are precisely the questions that keep me awake at night.)

Anyway, re the phone call: My cool, amazing t-shirt gifts from Think Geek which my sister figured would earn me superstar status with my nephews? They arrived. Earlier than anticipated. When there’s no one home to receive them. 🙁

Also, they come with a hefty customs fee. I’ll pay my sister back, of course, but I find it less than mannerly that it needs to be done by the receiver, even though they have a billing address which is different than the delivery address. 

(Hello? Is it just me, or is a $30 customs bill on four t-shirts not a little pricey.)

I got off the phone and returned to the movie, secure in the knowledge I’d reach my sister today and work out the remaining details. Then this morning I discovered I’ve misplaced the paper with the delivery service’s phone number, the exact fee amount.

So that’s it then. I’ve been exposed as a fake, a fraud, and a fraudulent fake of an organizer.

Naturally, I consoled myself with this:

Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy

What is the point of this post, you’re now asking?

Well, I’m curious: If you found a portal and were able to enter into Pride and Prejudice, which Mr. Darcy would you prefer to have greet you?

Matthew Macfadyen

Also, what test would you administer to determine his nom-worthiness? His smoulder? The wet-shirt scene? Some other criteria?

While you ponder that, here’s another post you might enjoy: Writing friend Gretchen McNeil has a fun, self-administered test which determines which of Jane Austen’s heroines you most resemble by temperament.

So what’s it to be, peeps? What manner of gauntlet would you throw?

17 thoughts on “A Jan Christmas-Fail and I Blame Mr. Darcy

  1. Colin Firth was a revelation as Mr. Darcy, so…it could be no other. (And yes, I am an Elizabeth Bennett, if turns out.)

    I think you and I have similar Christmas or Other Big Event tendencies. The best laid plans/intentions and all that.

  2. Hillary, it would have to be Colin Firth as well for me, and I don’t think that’s because of imprinting.

    I’m a Jane Fairfax. Not sure I like that answer, to be honest.

    Hope your holiday mistakes improve! I’m off to see what I can do to rectify mine.

  3. I’d have to say Colin Firth. The other guy’s picture reminded me of Martin(I’m so depressed) the Robot from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. That woe-is-me expression isn’t sexy. Oh BTW? I’m DONE!! Hee hee hee. 😛

  4. Colin Firth and no other! Even though I rather liked the old Laurence Olivier and Greer Garson as Darcy and Elizabeth, the movie was so hacked and slashed I couldn’t enjoy it.

    Now I want to find five hours to watch the Firth version. Curse you, Jan! 😀

  5. We have the DVD of the version with Matthew Macfadyen in it, and my 10-year-old has watched it repeatedly even though she claims not to like any movies with ‘love’ in them. I don’t know if I can choose. I know Colin Firth is overwhelminly the popular choice, but I saw an interview with him once where he talked about getting stuck trying to fix a window while only wearing his underwear. A neighbor had to rescue him. The whole story was so funny, I still find it hard to forget about that when watching him as Darcy.

  6. I’ll take Colin Firth, thank you very much. I’m thrilled you posted that picture of him. He’s definitely swoon-worthy in that scene, and I’m not usually a swooner (is that even a word?). See? Even thinking about him gets me all flustered….

  7. Dee, too funny about your daughter! It can be very altering to see an actor out of character. It took me the longest time to get over Daniel Craig’s handlebar mustache. Thank goodness he’s worth the effort. 😉

    Liz, ooh, I looked that movie up on imdb and it does sound tragic! Yikes. Not sure I’m up for that at the moment. Hope Colin Firth in happier times restores your good mood.

    Christi, LOL, there’s one moment in P and P where we see him direct an unguarded glance at Elizabeth. I require a fan every time I see it. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the photos.

  8. Oh, Colin Firth every time.


    I love that man. He doesn’t take himself seriously. How can he when he signed on to play ‘Mr. Darcy. in the Bridget Jones films?

  9. okay, going to admit it – I don’t read Jane A and I never have and probably never will and have seen none of the movies! ….*kat runs away before someone smacks her silly with astonishment*

  10. Sue, did we ever get the dirt on Sarah’s encounter with him. He is definitely droolworthy. (I love the scene in Bridget Jones where she keeps going on about the white-shirt scene. A man with a sense of humor is dead sexy. 😉 )

    Kat, somehow that doesn’t surprise me at all. I think your tastes run towards more earthy fare. Mine are all over the place.

  11. I adore Lost in Austen — I ended up buying it just so I can rewatch it whenever I want. The first time I saw the scene with him coming out of the water, a la Colin Firth, I burst out laughing. It was so perfectly in tune with what P&P fanatics love, and I was thrilled that they got that.

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