Last week I awoke to find six inches of wet snow plastered to the trees. While the air was fresh and clean, and the city sounds had taken on that lovely hushed quality that comes with a good snow-blanketing, I was worried for my foliaged friends. It was the kind of snow that’s been known to crack limbs and topple trees, and we expected another four inches.
As soon as it was light, I went out with a broom to brush off branches, getting soaked as the snow fell in my hair and down the neckline of my polar fleece. Eventually I gave in to the process and laughed. And when horizontal branches barred my access to the yard via the staircase , I jumped off the porch into a drift, deciding I’d make snow angels after a few more minutes of work.
That’s when I landed on uneven ground and toppled left. Rib cage met stair edge, aaaand the moaning and clutching began.
Yup, two broken ribs, me Zesties. I believe the emergency doctor’s exact words were, “You did something bad to yourself.”
Now, maybe it’s the painkillers talking. Maybe it’s the cabin fever. It could be that I’ve grown slightly mad between my inability to exercise or hold a thought in my brain for more than a few seconds. (Writing quota? What’s that?)
Whatever the cause, I’ve decided to turn my injury into a form of entertainment, and what better way to do that than hold a contest?
Here’s the plan:
1. Between now and midnight April 16th, come up with an alternative explanation for how I broke my ribs. (Preferable one that doesn’t make me sound clumsy, osteoporotic, or clueless.) Write it in any format you wish — an essay, poem, flash fiction — I don’t care, as long as it’s less than 150 words.
2. Enter it in the comment space below. Extra consideration will be granted to entries which involve citrus or humor, but I’m open to all non-X-rated possibilities.
3. You are allowed up to 4 entries per person.
4. Winner will be decided by me and if I get into a draw situation, I’ll pull in Frank and Molly as tie-breakers.
Any questions or comments? Put ’em in the space below. You do NOT have to advertise this contest to be entered, but it will be more fun with brisk competition, so I’d appreciate it.
The prize: Bragging rights and a special badge I’ll create for your site.